Narcissists in the Office: How to Spot and Handle Them?

Who is a Narcissist?

A narcissist is someone who really loves and is obsessed with themselves. They often think they're better than everyone else and crave attention and praise. They can be super sensitive to criticism and might take advantage of others to get what they want. If they're not the center of attention, they're probably not happy.

Do you have a narcissist in your office? Not know? It is essential to spot a narcissist personality to ensure a healthy workplace environment; sometimes its not you it might be your narcissist co-worker who is problematic. Let's spot the narcissist and their behavior patterns in office;

Spot Narcissistic Abuse in the Office

Spot the patterns, like constantly shifting goalposts, gaslighting (making you question your reality), or playing the victim when they're called out. It's like they have a script where they're always the hero or the victim, never the wrongdoer.

Spotlight on Gaslighting: 

Did you know that "gaslighting" originates from a 1938 play called "Gas Light"? In the story, a husband manipulates his wife into believing she's going insane by dimming their house's gas lights and denying any lighting change when she points it out. In the workplace, gaslighting can be more subtle but equally insidious, such as insisting a discussion never happened or downplaying a person's achievements.

Chameleons of Emotion: 

Narcissists can switch from being the office charmer to a bully in the blink of an eye. Their mood isn't about how they genuinely feel but more about what they believe will get them the most attention or control.

A Historical Angle: 

Narcissism isn't a new phenomenon. Some historical figures, like Napoleon Bonaparte or Henry VIII, have been posthumously speculated to display narcissistic traits. Imagine such a personality in a modern office setting!

It's Not Always About Confidence: 

While narcissists may seem self-confident, their outward bravado often masks fragile self-esteem. They're highly sensitive to criticism and may launch defensive maneuvers when their ego is threatened.

A Dash of Neuroscience: 

Brain imaging studies suggest that people with narcissistic tendencies may have structural abnormalities in regions of the brain associated with empathy. This could explain why they often struggle to recognize or care about the emotions of their colleagues.

Narcissists & Feedback: 

It's interesting to note that narcissists often perceive feedback differently. While most of us see constructive feedback as a tool for growth, narcissists might see it as a direct threat, making them double down on their stance.

Copy-Paste Credit-Stealers: 

Have you ever felt like a narcissist "stole" your idea in a meeting? That's a common tactic. They're adept at picking up on great ideas and presenting them as their own. It's like having a human plagiarism machine right next to your desk.

They're Not Always the Loudest: 

While many narcissists love the limelight, some might be more covert in their approach. These individuals may not always be the loudest in the room but will subtly manipulate situations to their advantage.

In Numbers: 

A surprising statistic is that up to 6.2% of adults may have narcissistic personality disorder. That's potentially one in every 16 people! While not all will display abusive behavior, understanding and recognizing narcissistic traits can be crucial in navigating workplace dynamics.

 Understanding narcissistic abuse in the workplace isn't just about coping but also about staying one step ahead. Knowledge is power, and in the world of office politics, it's a tool every professional can benefit from.

Strategies to Cope with a Narcissistic Co-Worker

Handling a narcissistic coworker can be challenging, but with the right strategies, you can maintain a balanced working relationship. Building upon your suggestions, here are some additional coping strategies:

Emotional Detachment: 

Understand that a narcissist's behavior is about them, not you. If they act dismissive or belittle your contributions, try not to take it personally. Picture yourself as a neutral observer watching a movie.

Set Boundaries: 

Clearly define what's acceptable and what isn't. If they interrupt you during meetings or consistently offload their tasks to you, it's okay to stand your ground.

Document Everything: 

Keep records of your communications and contributions if you're working on a joint project. This prevents potential situations where they might take undue credit.

Feedback Sandwich: 

When you need to give feedback or a suggestion, frame it with two positives. It helps to cushion the blow for their fragile ego.

Stay Objective: 

Stick to facts and figures when discussing projects. This way, subjective opinions don’t dominate the conversation.

Limit Solo Interactions: 

Try to communicate in group settings or through written formats like emails whenever possible. This can reduce instances of manipulation or misunderstandings.

Seek Support: 

While it's not about gossiping or creating a divisive environment, having allies who understand the dynamics is helpful. Sharing experiences with a trusted colleague can provide emotional relief and perspective.

Avoid Flattery Games: 

A narcissist often seeks excessive admiration. While it's okay to recognize genuine accomplishments, avoid getting sucked into constantly praising them or assuaging their ego.

Anticipate Pushbacks: 

If you suggest something they don't agree with, be ready for potential resistance. Prepare your points well, and be confident in presenting them.

Engage in Active Listening:

Even if you don't agree with them, give them the floor when they speak. By showing that you're listening, you can decrease the need they feel to dominate conversations.

Self-care Outside of Work: 

Engaging with a narcissist can be draining. Make sure to indulge in activities that recharge you outside of work, whether reading, exercising, meditating, or spending time with loved ones.

Educate Yourself: 

Read up on narcissistic behaviors. Understanding the psychology behind their actions can sometimes make them easier to deal with, as you can predict and preempt some of their moves.

Remember, while you can implement strategies to manage the relationship better, it's not your responsibility to change or "fix" a narcissistic coworker. Focus on maintaining your well-being and delivering your best at work. If the situation becomes overly toxic, consider discussing the issue with HR or seeking a potential change in team dynamics. It is essential to spot narcissist co-worker. Spotting them can help you boost your mental health and performance. Sometimes is not the environment it's the particular person that has to be trained.

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